by Mimi Eagleton
April 28 – May 1, 2022
I clicked onto another zoom link, onto a screen filled with many squares, filled with many faces…unfamiliar ones and some I recognized as faces that I meditate with on a daily basis. Taking a few days for a supported, guided silent foray into internal landscapes is viewed by some as self-indulgent. It is so far from that for me sometimes I would that it were. “Shouldn’t you or couldn’t you engage in more immediately needed activities – programs that attempt to cure world hunger, the climate crisis, wars, greed, the immense suffering of so many?” For me retreats are a first step in taking remedial action.
In Bridget’s retreat, I had the opportunity to clear some internal debris: outdated beliefs, feeling tones, criticisms and judgments. This clutter blocks my ability to see clearly, so that I can best choose how to respond to any given life circumstance, any world problem.
We started by taking refuge in the three jewels: the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Bridget opened our coming together with her soothing melodic voice chanting:
Buddham saranam gacchami
Dhammam saranam gacchami
Sangham saranam gacchami
A beautiful tethering. We need that sense of safety; that there is a wisdom and a compassion that has our back as we attempt to ‘cultivate balance in an ever-changing world’, be it the on-going chattering of our minds or the external tale of horrors that vacillate in world events.
I cannot overemphasize Bridget’s gentle voice and presence. Her passion for the sharing of the dharma, of Buddha’s teachings and her equanimity, her downright sweetness of being, call me back time and time again to sit with her at the helm.
Starting our three day retreat with the refuges and the precepts is standard procedure and yet each time I am able to open to and receive the wisdom of these practices, I find deeper understanding. I receive more space while committing to more self-restraint.
Bridget encouraged us throughout the well-paced curriculum to slow down and settle into ourselves. We received dharma talks and reflections, guided meditations and guided mindful movement exercises, time for mindful eating and walking meditations. I had the opportunity to sink deeper each day into merging with THE ONE WHO KNOWS.
I extend gratitude to all those at Mid America Dharma, as well as Bridget and to all attendees who contributed to my well-being by making this event accessible. I have not done in-person retreats for the past few years and have relied upon zoom to connect to fellow aspirants.
I walked away from this event with a ‘stronger back and a softer front’, as per Roshi Joan Halifax. The most prevalent take-away seed for me is: TAKING THE ONE SEAT. This is a meditative directive from Ajahn Chah, a teacher of the Thai Forest Tradition of Theravada Buddhism. Bridget’s voice still lives with me:
“Just go into the room and put the one chair in the center. Take the seat in the center of the room, open the doors and windows, and see who comes to visit. You will witness all kinds of scenes and actors, all kinds of temptation and stories imaginable. Your only job is to stay in your seat. You will see it all arise and pass, and out of this, wisdom and understanding will come.”
And it did. Sitting more at peace with myself in an ever-changing world.
I find that after the retreat, I am softer. I do not bark harshly as much when I am frustrated. I have more juice to stay the course with my commitments to practice. I am able to sit deeper with my sufferings and the sufferings of others. Silent retreats may be simple, but not easy.
Funny how one can feel so intimately connected with others when they sit together in silence…and funny how we are doing world work when we engage in sitting in our private spaces meditating. But I find both to be the bounty of the time I spent with Bridget in the spring of 2022.
Mimi Eagleton is a practitioner living in Flagler Beach, Florida.
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