The Self, Wisdom, Compassion and the Opening of the Heart

by Joe McCormack

I would like to share some observations about the heart qualities of wisdom and compassion, including the obstacles that the mind creates that block wisdom, compassion, generosity, patience, and loving kindness as well as the means of opening our hearts and relieving ourselves of the burden of the self.

So, I would invite you to explore a few questions. In your own experience, what is it that most effectively blocks access to compassion and lovingkindness in your heart? Do you notice some combination of fear, anger, resentment, or desire of one sort or another?

And in your experience, where do fear, anger, resentment, and desire come from? Do you sense that the answer might rest in the belief in a self that is separate, autonomous, independent, in control; that your mind has the belief in some part of you that can be labeled “the doer”, sort of an executive that calls the shots?

Exploring your experience, do you also perhaps identify with believing in “a knower”, who knows how you are, how other people are, and how things ought to be? And that you have a responsibility to know what is going on and then with “the doer” come up with the answer to problems?

All of these qualities result from the belief in a self that does things, knows and is certain that it knows (or should know). That self separates itself out from the rest of the universe. In day to day life, that manifests as setting ourselves apart from people. Another of the qualities of that separation is that we feel a sense of deficient emptiness, and then we  experience ourselves as needing something(s) to make us complete, to fill that space of emptiness. Often this experience comes in a statement like: “If I don’t get this (a job, a relationship, a car, this or that degree), I cannot be okay”.  Or else we feel that we need to be rid of something that is unpleasant. The present moment is not enough—we have to have something more. What a burden to carry!

So, with the self operating, we either want something from people, or they can become the enemy. Not an especially fertile ground for the arising of compassion or wisdom. This quote is from Wei-Wu-Wei on the self:

“Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 per cent of everything you do is for yourself and there isn’t one.”

The Buddha offered a path to the ending of suffering. This includes the Eightfold Path, of Right View, Intention, Speech, Action, Livelihood, Effort, Mindfulness, and Concentration.

And the Buddha offered three practices designed to open the heart. Interestingly, the first thing the Buddha taught someone who wanted to join his sangha was not meditation. He first taught generosity.

Practicing generosity frees the heart. Greed and stinginess are two qualities that reinforce the separate self. Greed reinforces the fearful self that feels that there is never enough to go around. Generosity begins to relax that contraction in the heart.

The second practice the Buddha taught people before meditation was morality or ethics.

The Pali word for this is sila. Sila protects us from the harm that can come when unskillful thoughts are in the mind. The precepts—that we avoid killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, wrong speech, and taking intoxicants that create heedlessness—can serve as like the rumble strips on the highway to alert us that the conditioned mind is taking over, and so to be mindfully aware of what is happening in the mind. The quality of restraint that happens with sila also protects us and others by refraining from harmful behavior.

It is said that a fully enlightened being cannot deliberately harm another being. Why not? Because a fully enlightened being does not suffer from a sense of separation of self from other. To that being, harming another being is like harming him or herself.

The third aspect of the path to the ending of suffering is meditative cultivation.

In meditation we begin with concentration practice which calms the mind. We add to that the practice of mindfulness, which allows us to have insight into how the world is—impermanent, no sense experience giving lasting satisfaction, and no solid self, thus seeing that the belief in a self is illusory. We also gain insight into how our minds work, seeing with greater clarity the habitual patterns of the mind that lead to suffering. Insight into the Three Characteristics and the habitual qualities of the mind result in the loosening of that attachment to greed, hatred, and delusion which are themselves the ground on which belief in the self takes root. With insight, we begin to uproot those sources of suffering. In that process, we begin to see more clearly that the self we have cherished and protected is not a solid self—it is an amalgam of thoughts, ideas, sensations, stories—none of which constitute a self. This insight results in a dissolving of the self, sometimes in small and gradual ways, sometimes in sudden and unmistakable ways.

And in that dissolution of the self, there is the possibility of opening to the suffering in the world. And in that opening, we can each, in our own unique way, be of assistance to a world that so desperately needs people who are awake, wise, kind, and compassionate.

When we are able to open our hearts in this way, the Four Brahma Viharas of lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity arise effortlessly, because when the heart is free, without the self closing the heart, we discover that kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity are the essence of who we are.

When the heart is without the burden of the separate self, we can effortlessly be present in the moment, receptive and attuned to the joys and sorrows of the world. We have the courage to open to the suffering of others, and help when we are able to, holding all of our efforts in an equanimity that recognizes that all things are unfolding as they will. In that space, we offer our compassionate service to the world without attachment to the outcome of our efforts.  And we are able to do all of this without the burden of anxiety that we have to get this done. Instead, we are aware of ourselves not as selves doing all of this, but as conduits of compassion radiating out effortlessly.

This is the freedom from suffering that we all seek. And this is the freedom from the burden of the self that distances us from the 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows of the world. Indeed, we find that when we are doing our dharma practice, we are doing it for the whole world.


Joe McCormack has practiced Insight Meditation since 1995. He completed the Community Dharma Leader training program through Spirit Rock Meditation Center. He is currently offering a Study Group for Mid America Dharma focusing on the book “Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening” by Joseph Goldstein.

Back to Fall 2022 Newsletter

.

Upcoming  Activities

2025

2025 Awakening Joy Course: 10 Steps to a Happier Life
Affiliate Event
Online with James Baraz
Meeting Times: see the course description
Registration is open

Connecting Heart and Mind
an Online Retreat
with James Baraz
January 17-19
Registration is open, closes January, 13, 2025

Cultivating a Wise Heart
A Residential Retreat
with Annie Nugent
March 6 -11
Mercy Center, St Louis
Registration Opens: December 15, 2024

Intimacy With All Things
A Residential Retreat
with David Chernikoff
July 30 - August 3, 2025
Creighton University Retreat Center, Griswold, IA
Registration Opens: April 13, 2025

Mindfulness in Everyday Life
An Online Householder Retreat 
with Robert Brumet
and Joe McCormack
September 7, 9, 11 & 13, 2025
Registration opens June 7, 2025

The Happiness of a Well-trained Mind
A Residential Retreat
with Bridget Rolens
October 30 - November 2
Mercy Center St Louis
Registration Opens: July 15, 2025

Other Items of Interest