When I was asked to submit an article for this newsletter, something that might help to promote a retreat, I experienced a lot of resistance to the idea. A thought arose “Do you really think we’re going to be able to hold that retreat? Do you really think that our situation with the pandemic will have changed that much by next Spring?” And then I just avoided responding for a week.
But the request was sitting there, waiting for a response, so periodically my mind would return to it: What to do? How to respond? Eventually it became clear that I was stuck in a belief of knowing when the reality is “Who knows?”
In planning a retreat during this time of Covid-19 there are so many unknowns. Who knows whether a vaccine will be developed and a large part of our population will be inoculated against the SARS-CoV-2 virus by next Spring? Who knows if there will be safe and effective treatments readily available? Who knows if the facility we want to use will be available, will regard conditions to be safe enough for a group of strangers to gather closely together for days and without infecting their staff or other residents? Who knows if you, dear readers, will feel that it is safe to attend an in-person retreat once again, or whether those of us at Mid America Dharma will feel that it is safe to sponsor one?
So much uncertainty. And in response my mind wants to take a stance of certainty: “Why bother writing an article? The retreat isn’t going to happen. Things just aren’t going to change that rapidly between now and next Spring.”
This is what our minds do when faced with uncertainty, isn’t it? They try to establish certainty. But all that is really certain is that we simply do not know what will be.
All we can be certain of is “Impermanent are all conditioned things; Of the nature to arise and pass away.” (DN 17.2.17 {II.199}).
Facing this truth of impermanence means facing the reality of not-knowing. Our practice is coming to recognize this again and again until we permanently let go of the attempt to construct certainty, comfort, a sense of security.
There is peacefulness in letting go in this way. But there’s still a need to make plans, as long as we don’t cling to them. So we at Mid America Dharma will continue to make plans for an in-person retreat next June with Shaila Catherine and myself. We hope you will make plans to attend it.
Philip Jones has practiced meditation since 1987 and has been teaching Insight Meditation since 1996. He and Shaila Catherine are scheduled to lead a retreat in Leavenworth, KS in June, 2021.
.